This Charming Blog

Had wor David around for a couple of days. In a gesture of haircut solidarity, he did this.........

Wait 'til you hear this 'un........

This cancer malarky has just turned up another issue that I'm gonna have to get used to, aching bones!!! Had a blood test on Thursday and I'm due another this Tuesday - two days before my next chemo. The nasties that are in the chemo drugs attack rapidly dividing cells like tumours but also hair follicles (thats why your hair falls out), nails, mouth linings etc. But more seriously, they attack your white blood cells. Bad news for you but good news for infectious bacteria as there aren't enough white cells to fight 'em. More info here. Hence the frequent blood tests to count the white cells. If the white cell count is low you get an injection of a very expensive drug to stimulate the bone marrow to produce many more cells. The side effect of this drug is that the marrow produces far more cells than the bone can handle and your bones begin to swell. I've read this this can range from a dull ache to crippling agony!!! Me being a badass geordie will obviously feel nowt, just spare a though for the rest! Might get the injection on Wednesday if the counts are low, will probably be injecting myself several times per week in later months - champion!!

Tried to clip a nice taper on the back of my heed this morning which resulted in the guard falling off and gouging a trough just above my left ear. So I'm now down to a No.1 all over, lugs are stickin' oot like Plug's.

The Sieg Heils

Well, its been just over a week since the first chemo, and I bet your all wondering how its going........or not.
Got home from hospital OK on Friday, travelled on the bus of doom - No11 - Crosshouse to Ardrossan, if I'm gonna pick up some nasty disease in my chemo weakened state, it'll be on that bus. I'm pretty sure it roves around Ayrshire picking up the ill and infirm - its the last bus to Flusville!!
Anyhoo, spent the next three days or so mostly curled up on the sofa, feeling like a bad hangover but without the headache, really really really tired!! The poisons that are roaming around my system seem to be leaching out of my pores and I can smell the chemo stuff all the time. Waves of nausea come and go and are usually triggered by cooking smells - more lying down on the sofa. Eight days now since the chemo and most of those early side effects have worn off, no more naps and I'm managing to stay up long enough at night to take in a whole movie!
The worst of the side effects, and one I had not expected to take hold so early was the constipation. Sorry to harp on about what I hold most dear again - my arse, but a problem shared is a problem halved as my old constipated grannie used to say.
Now, I'm a regular twice a day man, but have been only twice in a week - a bloody week!!! Each occasion was a 'teethmarks in the door handle' affair that required more napping on the couch as a sort of post straining recuperation. I know what your thinking, you shouldn't be straining - you might pop something, more on that later. It hasn't stopped me farting though, quite the opposite. In fact, my fart to shite ratio is about 10,000:1. The smell is also something to behold, Marie says they are just their normal reek but I can smell the chemicals - not quite Jeyes Fluid though. The dogs are hiding behind the sofa and all the windows are open even though its Baltic outside. The last defaecatory episode was a particularly stressful encounter that has left me thumbing through the Screwfix catalogue for a new pan. Got myself comfortable, one hand on the sink, the other the window cill - looking like something out of Britain's strongest man - truck pulling final. One big push, nothing. Another big push, still nothing. I stood up to call it a day but a sudden movement 'in me back body' had me back down on the seat and pushing for England.................or Scotland. I started to make involuntary noises, grrrrrrr and oooooof, beads of sweat began to peal from my forehead. I could almost hear the midwife shouting 'I can see its head, deep breaths now'. Just as Lucifer's bowling ball began to dislodge itself from my bowels, there was a strange 'fwooop' sound and it shot back up as if startled by the sight of my hairy arse. Buggar!!!
After a few minutes of re-composure I began the struggle again. This time it seemed a little easier as I must have honed some sort of taper with my first effort and after another minute or so of gritted teeth and with a 'kersplash' and a 'clonk' it was done. Neptunes kiss gave some short respite to the ring sting and then it dawned, I bet I've popped a one!! A one what you say, dear reader. Nobby Stiles, the Duke of Argyle's, Farmer Giles, Nuremburg trials, yes you've guessed it, Emma Freud's. Being an occasional sufferer of this debilitating affliction, I know the last thing you want when you've got other stuff to deal with, is a dose of the Chalfont's (am I right, Donald?). A bit if shuffling about on the pan and some digitary exploration confirmed to my great relief that the 'Preparation Arse' can remain in the cupboard for the time being. I am Rectum Intactum! More than can be said for the pan though, as I'm sure this beasty must have cracked it somewhere around the 'U' bend. It reminded me of the one which blocked the offshore privvies last year (BJ - we know it was you!).
Its now come full circle and a few days later I have the skitters. I could regale you with tales about following through in bed and other rectal hilarity, but dear reader, I'll leave that to your own imagination, we've had enough toilet talk for the noo!
Take care everyone, and remember, five a day!!!

New 'do'

My silver locks are well over-due their monthly trim. Although the finely spun threads of elven silk will be shortly falling out due to the treatment, Not wanting to grease Jimmy the barbers mitts with another 9 quid, I've taken the matter into my own hands! Shirt off in the privacy of the garage I proceeded to skim over my sculpted bonce with the clippers set to No.2. Not to the bone quite yet, but short enough. I must admit I rather suit the new style and have taken on a dashing Gestapo type look which I find rather favourable, unlike the Telly Savalas look that I will be sporting all too soon . Tomorrow I may march around the village eyeing folk through my army surplus monocle to see if its had the desired effect!!
Until then constant reader........
Auf Wiedersehen......................Pet!

Chemo #1

My first of 12 chemo sessions is in the bag. Started me at 16:00 and I was finished by about 19:30. I was given a load of anti sickness pills, steroids and gout tablets before the chemo started. Four drugs were then administered, all intravenously. The first two drugs were large syringes, one of them was a bright red liquid which had later repercussions as it turned my weewee red! The remaining two drugs were large bags of fluid that were shielded in a red bag because they react to light - I think they turn to vodka and Red Bull. No real adverse effect during the infusion apart from a slight burning in my veins from the caustic Dicarbezene.

Kept in hospital overnight for monitoring - back on ward 303. All new faces on the ward apart from Martin - nappy guy, although the nappies are gone and he's on his feet, only just - he still seems shot away. I'm in Royston's old bed! Feeling a bit grotty now. Home tomorrow if I'm OK through the night.

'and our survey said.....................'

Well, the results are in, and I must admit are better than I had feared. I have something called Stage II - nodular sclerosing Hodgkinson's disease. Which basically means the cancer still within my lymph systen and has not yet spread to my organs or bone marrow - Bonus!!
I have two tumours one in my neck approx 1.6cm diameter and one in my chest approx 1.4 cm diameter.
My treatment will be 12 fortnightly sessions of chemo (ABVD) - told ya so!
The treatment would have been just 6 or 8 sessions but my other symptom of night sweats (uuuurgh!) means I'll be getting the full bifta. All sorts of blood tests during chemo, mid-term CT scan and a completion PET scan in Aberdeen also to look forward to.
Lets get this party started........................

Crystal balls......................

Good thing this Internet lark. It allows you to practically see into the future and scare yourself to death by reading other peoples experiences with Hodgkin's. In an effort to try and pre-empt my treatment, I've been doing a lot of reading up. There's dozens on personal blogs out there which detail folks personal battle with the disease. I'm now pretty sure whats to become of me and how I will be treated.
First of all, no matter where, how many and how large the tumours, the treatment for Hodgkins is nearly always the same - 6 to 8 months of chemo followed by a few weeks of daily Radiation treatment if required.
The chemo treatment I will probably receive is something called ABVD which are the initials of the four drugs that will be infused into me on a fortnightly basis:
Doxorubicin (pronounced docks-o-rou-bi-sin, originally called Adriamycin®) Bleomycin (blee o my sin), Vinblastine (vin blas teen) and Dacarbazine (de car b zeen). This is Dan-like detail for all you offshore viewers!! More info here

My treatment may start as early as this weekend. I will be kept in hospital after my first treatment to monitor for adverse reactions to the drugs.
Everyone reacts differently to the treatment - some only suffer for a day or two after each treatment and can lead a virtually normal life, others are ill for the majority of the cycle and recover just in time for the next infusion. Among the side effects I can expect are:
Lowered resistance to infection
Bruising or bleeding
Anaemia (low number of red blood cells)
Feeling sick (nausea) and vomiting - especially just before, during and just after infusion and maybe for a few days after.
Tiredness - Can be extreme fatigue
Hair loss - Will probably lose my hair within 4-6 weeks, can't say I'll miss this carpet on my back much.
Sore mouth and taste change - lots of mouth ulcers, I love Bonjella
Numbness or tingling in hands or feet
Pain at the injection site or along the vein
Weigh loss - Woohoo!!
Weight gain - Doh!
Allergic reaction
Constipation
Piles - Noooooooooooooooo!!!!
Fevers and chills
Changes in nails
Changes in the way the heart works
Changes to the lungs
Itchy teeth
Farts smell like Jeyes Fluid
Piss can be used as engine de-greaser.

I made up the last three..................it might happen!

Alongside the treatment I'll be receiving regular CT scans, blood tests and hopefully a PET scan if I can drag my carcass up to Aberdeen.
So, that's what I've got to look forward to over the next 6 months, followed by some sort of post chemo recuperation and strengthening. Can't really say what I'm fearing the most, weight loss will be good, weight gain will be very bad although numb hands is not without its merits!! Puking in the car while driving is a common one - you never get rid of the smell you know!

Later dudes................................

Thanks

Many thanks to all who have taken trouble to wade through this drivel and taken time to respond, it is very humbling and uplifting to know there are people out there (some who don't even know me) that actually give a monkey's - cheers everyone, keep 'em comin'.

Neil and Kim R for ferrying my arse to and from Crosshouse, I owe you lots.

And again to Neil R and Jim for visiting last night, cheers lads. Fetch some grapes next time!!

Back home.....

Was awoken once again by a nurse begging for more blood, I'm pretty sure now they're making black puddin' for our tea, like!

Even though it's blowin a hooligan again , the ferries are on. Just made the 0945 which actually left at 1015 because they couldn't get the car ramp down! Thanks again to Neil R for the lift, your a black puddin' (thats 2 black puddin's in the same blog - beat that).

Back now in the warm bosom of home, Marie fussing around me again, I'm alreet woman!!!

Due back in Crosshouse next Thursday to hear the results and how I will be treated, they might commence treatment on Friday so I should be out on Saturday.....................bring it on!

Crosshoose - day 2 - edited

Tossed and turned all night, lots of strange sounds - Snoring, farting, nurses stealing my newspaper, chemo pump bleeping etc. Rudely woken up at 0730 by a nurse demanding more blood - what do they want with it all, I'm sure they're giving it to someone who needs it more!

Later, they wheeled an old boy into the ward who looked a bit rough, he was light green in colour. I overheard the Haemo telling him they needed blood and bone marrow samples - woohoo! Said later that he had only 10% of the usual red platelets, the rest was Creme de Menthe!

Lay on my scratcher watching daytime TV until 1500, where I had to consume 4 large glasses of thick white fluid, a bit like drinking snot, if you can imagine such a thing. This was in preparation for my CT scan (computerised tomography). Another porter arrived and I was again bogey'd around the wards eventually ending up in X-ray. Into the CT room I was hooked up to an auto-injection system and laid out beneath giant giant donut. The injection went in (100 mls - which is huge) and I immediately got a hot flush and felt like I'd wet myself. The scanner did the business of spinning and scanning as the platform I was lying on slid in and out of the donut. Scan complete, I was trolley'd back to the ward with a killer headache.

Tea time soon, then in for an early night, hopefully home tomorrow, ferries permitting.

The bloke in the next bed doesn't seem as doolally as yesterday, the green fella is not quite as green as he's now hooked up to some blood infusion gear and Royston is entertaining us with his made up war stories! Did I mention he had a wonky eye, every time I think he's talking to me, he's actually talking to someone else and vice-versa. It just get better and better here!

Nighty night yaw'll.......................

Crosshoose - Day 1

Caught the first ferry over this morning, Clansman is the ferry just now as the isles is away for winter refit. Was met at the ferry by Neil who gave me a lift down to the hospital - cheers best pal!
Passed reception, I was soon through admissions and into my bed in ward 3A - Room 303. Its a 6 bed ward I'm sharing with 4 other codgers, they all seem much older than me. Two are out for the count, the poor bloke in the next bed is away with the mixer (sedated) and is wearing a nappy that I think needs changing! The chap opposite fancies himself as a singer.
Saw the nurse, she swabbed my nose for MRSA then took my lunch order of burger and onions, mmm, mmmm.

The Haematologist saw me for the first time. She had a quick feel...................of my lymph nodes and explained what would happen over the next few days. CT scans, heart scan, Kidney function, lung function, bone marrow etc. Said the chemo will probably be AVBD, no mention of Radiotherapy........yet! She also told me I would be seeing a haematologist for at least 10 years :(

Had a chat with Royston (the singer), he's got cancer in both lungs, in for more chemo, comes every 2 weeks and stays 3 days - has been treated for 15 years - bloody hell!!!!

Well, I'm back, not very long in blog time but ages in hospital time. Right after lunch a porter came with a wheelchair and wheeled my sorry arse down to cardiology for a load of tests.
First the heart scan - a bit like a baby ultra sound test - OK. Then a lung function test - breathing various gases into a big machine - OK. Then an ECG - OK.
Wheeled back up to the ward for a rest. No sooner than my arse had touched the bed, the haematologist turned up to get some bone marrow - gulp! Curtains pulled around, troosers round me knees, I was turned on my side and pulled my knees up to my chest. After a bit prodding around my rear pelvic area they gave me a big local anaesthetic which knacked! They poked other big needles in and extracted marrow blood then a plug of bone marrow. Felt a bit uncomfortable but not as bad as the local. The worst thing was that I had a lot of wind and had been farting all morning. So picture this, me curled up in the foetal position, two doctors hunched over my bare arse and me about to deliver a lethal broadside, the pressure built to an intolerable level, I was just about to let rip and I nearly shouted 'stand clear' when the pressure suddenly subsided as some sort of internal relief valve lifted and I was able to hold on until the end of the procedure. Funny thing is, I haven't farted since, where the hell did all that go??
The anaesthetic has worn off now so now I've literally got a right pain in the arse! The bone they removed is about the size of an apple pip.

Another doc came round later on and asked a load of questions before extracting a gallon of blood. They also need to collect my wee wee for 24 hours to test my steak and kidneys. Only one test left, might get out tomorrow but the weather doesn't look too promising for the ferry.

And that was day 1 done and dusted. Nappy man has started talking to himself and Royston is tuning up the vocal chords! It's gonna be a long night..................

The ball is rollin'...........................

Got a call from Crosshouse hospital this afternoon, going to be admitted on Wednesday 10th Jan - will probably be there for 3-4 days - Ward 3A. This will be for stage testing and include CT scans, blood tests and bone marrow tests (stick a drill in me arse - aaaarrrrgghhh!!). Hopefully I might get fed this time!

Kaboom!!!!

Got a call from the hospital this morning. A rather sombre sounding surgeon who removed the lump. He apologised first for having to pass on the news in this manner but 'it was what we'd agreed'. Even before he told me what it was, it was obvious he wasn't going to tell me I'd won the lottery and I immediately got a hot flush and began to shake!! Although he didn't say 'are you sitting down' his next words were 'You have a form of lymphoma, Hodgkin's lymphoma to be precise'.
I'd already put 2 and 2 together some weeks ago when I was surfing the net looking for neck lump stuff as Hodgkin's was regularly coming up on the searches, but it still hit me like a bombshell!! The quack said the hospital would be in touch and he was again sorry to have to break it to me over the phone, then he hung up. And that was that, a million things went through my mind in just a few seconds - mainly, will it kill me, how will Marie cope, what about work................
I was straight online looking for some facts before I got too wound up, and started wading through a mountain of material through glassy eyes.
This is what it is:
http://www.lymphomainfo.net/hodgkins/