Crosshoose - Day 1

Caught the first ferry over this morning, Clansman is the ferry just now as the isles is away for winter refit. Was met at the ferry by Neil who gave me a lift down to the hospital - cheers best pal!
Passed reception, I was soon through admissions and into my bed in ward 3A - Room 303. Its a 6 bed ward I'm sharing with 4 other codgers, they all seem much older than me. Two are out for the count, the poor bloke in the next bed is away with the mixer (sedated) and is wearing a nappy that I think needs changing! The chap opposite fancies himself as a singer.
Saw the nurse, she swabbed my nose for MRSA then took my lunch order of burger and onions, mmm, mmmm.

The Haematologist saw me for the first time. She had a quick feel...................of my lymph nodes and explained what would happen over the next few days. CT scans, heart scan, Kidney function, lung function, bone marrow etc. Said the chemo will probably be AVBD, no mention of Radiotherapy........yet! She also told me I would be seeing a haematologist for at least 10 years :(

Had a chat with Royston (the singer), he's got cancer in both lungs, in for more chemo, comes every 2 weeks and stays 3 days - has been treated for 15 years - bloody hell!!!!

Well, I'm back, not very long in blog time but ages in hospital time. Right after lunch a porter came with a wheelchair and wheeled my sorry arse down to cardiology for a load of tests.
First the heart scan - a bit like a baby ultra sound test - OK. Then a lung function test - breathing various gases into a big machine - OK. Then an ECG - OK.
Wheeled back up to the ward for a rest. No sooner than my arse had touched the bed, the haematologist turned up to get some bone marrow - gulp! Curtains pulled around, troosers round me knees, I was turned on my side and pulled my knees up to my chest. After a bit prodding around my rear pelvic area they gave me a big local anaesthetic which knacked! They poked other big needles in and extracted marrow blood then a plug of bone marrow. Felt a bit uncomfortable but not as bad as the local. The worst thing was that I had a lot of wind and had been farting all morning. So picture this, me curled up in the foetal position, two doctors hunched over my bare arse and me about to deliver a lethal broadside, the pressure built to an intolerable level, I was just about to let rip and I nearly shouted 'stand clear' when the pressure suddenly subsided as some sort of internal relief valve lifted and I was able to hold on until the end of the procedure. Funny thing is, I haven't farted since, where the hell did all that go??
The anaesthetic has worn off now so now I've literally got a right pain in the arse! The bone they removed is about the size of an apple pip.

Another doc came round later on and asked a load of questions before extracting a gallon of blood. They also need to collect my wee wee for 24 hours to test my steak and kidneys. Only one test left, might get out tomorrow but the weather doesn't look too promising for the ferry.

And that was day 1 done and dusted. Nappy man has started talking to himself and Royston is tuning up the vocal chords! It's gonna be a long night..................